What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

thumb_up thumb_down -19

FUCK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your Mum is soo fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

thumb_up thumb_down -19

HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -19

1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I love alchohol!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

people magazine

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops