How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

whats the best joke ever? womens rights

What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...