Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If you have a stroke, call 000

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

thumb_up thumb_down -13

George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

you gay?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops