My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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PENIS :)

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops