Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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