What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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Rebecca Blacks walk into a bar. She gets shot.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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