What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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