Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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