there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

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3 blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The 1 blonde says they're deer tracks. The 2 blonde says they're elk tracks. The 3 blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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Oh, right

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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what is worse than the holocaust. interracial relationship, cough..... oli

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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