What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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