A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops