How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

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2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

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a black, mexican, jewish, and white man fall off a cliff, who landed first ? all at the same time, they all died and there familys sued the clifff and commited sucicede

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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