You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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