Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

whats red and smells like cherries red cherries

What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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