Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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DERP

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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