little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

What did the man with no head say to the women?

What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

Why could the little girl not swim? She had rabies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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