A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

Students, please find the surface integral.

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

cool

This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

A blonde girl walks into a car.

Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

what smells like tuna? my underwear

What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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