A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops