Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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what are three short words? i a am

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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