Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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