Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You just read this ..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops