What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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WILLY

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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