Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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Penis chickens

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one and it is politically incorrect to assume otherwise.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops