I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

Please ignore this statement.

What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

Why did the car stop To buy drugs

why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

A: Do you like it B: No

Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

anti jokes are gay...your all gay

"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...