Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops