How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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No because your face is really f***** up.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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