What fires shots? A gun

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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whats green and lives in the water

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops