- Anti Joke

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

anti jokes are really funny

What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.