Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

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knock,knock you suck

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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Wolfjob.

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how many pieces of wood can a lumberjack cut in a minute? three dead squrlles a hat and and half of a tree oh and a bus. and if u get in his way alot of guts spewed every where

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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