3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

Robert Mugabe.

Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

The Charlotte Bobcats

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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