How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virginan Hawk

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

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Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

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-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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