I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops