*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

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Why was the 7 year old girl crying? Because its hard to laugh during gang rape.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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