What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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osama bin laden is dead

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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Then that means that, I thought I was working with you? No wonder things did not work out, no wonder jerks like Jonas "the wizard" got inside my team, he was recommended by this "Axel Knight"

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Well you see....

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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