An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock, Knock! Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There was a Indain and cowboy hunting together. the Indian put his ear down to the gound and said "buffulo come". The cowboy said he didnt see anything when the Indian said, "its Sticky!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops