I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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Gus's mom

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops