i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

my wife came out of the kitchen....

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops