Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

I just drank a cola.

A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

q

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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