Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats white and big and white? alot of things...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops