A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

thumb_up thumb_down +8

'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom went to college

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops