What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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FUCK YOU

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the momeraths outgrabe

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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