Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Your so gay, that you like men!

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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You were born.

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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Women's Soccer.

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What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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