Austin do your class work. Quit looking at anti-jokes. Yes you the one that goes to RRHS.

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What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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Q. Name six animals that live in the north pole A.Four polar-bears and two penguins

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Why couldn't the girl talk... she chocked to death -Alan Davis

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Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

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why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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black people

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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A chicken and a horse go into a bar due to an imperative of an earlier joke, they notice that there are flowers on the bar. The flowers are red and blue. They wonder what they could be.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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