Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Up until today I thought eminem was the lead singer for maroon 5

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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ajkswhfuilafhgkfdgbluft

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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