knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

Pianos.

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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