A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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Phew... it's gone.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

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Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

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what's funnier than the holocaust. If it happened again.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Caroline Kelly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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