teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your adopted.....

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry show me your tits!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops