What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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What's worse than knowing you have Hepititis C? Not knowing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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