A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

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Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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What african eat for christmas Sand.

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops