What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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What is a Mexican's favorite holiday? Christman

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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