Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

the WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

thumb_up thumb_down +20

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

thumb_up thumb_down +20

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops