How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Guest what? Dog

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops